the-elm's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Cherry Blossom Girl I sit and all I hear is noise, a deafening, overwhelming sort of noise as if somewhere in my head an untuned TV is turned on full volume. I don't really know what is happening around me, I'm unsure of what to feel, all I know is that this isn't what I had ever anticipated. I can't be sure of whether I've made the right choice, but the amount of apathy I see around me is making me see what I was blind to before. I guess in a way it's good, it's clear now. And I guess what they told me was right, that you can never count on anyone. I wish I was less human, less emotional, less me. It's hard to fathom that so much can change so quickly, so soon can one be turned away by the people closest. It's not okay, but I'm glad I know now that it's only this easy. I wonder if I was unreasonable.. Was I? No. I will remain adamant about that. But it was too much to ask for, and that is something I should have known, for ultimately we are but selfish beings. And so I sit here on the margins, deafened by the silence surrounding me, crumbling under the indifference. And my eyes are finally open, though it hurts inside. 3:17 a.m. - 2008-11-11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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