the-elm's Diaryland Diary

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Beautiful Immaculate

Well, I've realized that sobby entries are boring to read. Happy time now!


Have you ever felt like, at that moment, you're in the exact place you were meant to be? That the place you're at is perfection, and you feel like you're invincible. I've felt that way.. And when I'm there, I can't stop smiling and laughing, and it feels like that weird space - that hollow within me - has been filled. Heheh, it's like I can almost hear the angels sing and I feel like I'm 5 again. Safe and happy and care-free.

Have you ever met someone who seems to read your every thought and knows you inside out, without you even having to say anything at all? I've been lucky enough to meet many such people (although, as an after-thought, does that just mean I'm predictable?!). And though people have come and gone throughout my life, I haven't forgotten any of them. I don't know what I would do or who I would be were it not for these people.

Have you ever wanted something so bad that you'd do anything to get it? I have. And I won't give up, although I may be strongly tempted to at times. Somehow, although I pretend I don't, I still believe that there has to be a God out there. There has to be someone watching over me. And I believe that if this is meant to be, then it will. And I don't have any doubts as far as that goes. Someone very special once told me that if you want something bad enough, the universe conspires and eventually you will get it. I believe him. I believe that this was destined to be, otherwise it wouldn't. It's funny how it was all a series of accidents, and how I never ever thought we'd get this far. But we have, and if we can make it through what we have, then we can make it through anything..

I hope this isn't just wishful thinking.. I've waited far too long now, and I can't let go of this. I'd die. If not physically, then it would most certainly kill me mentally and emotionally. I don't think I would be able to survive it. And honestly, I hope I never find it.

So, this is where I stand right now.

Beautiful Immaculate.

9:12 p.m. - 2006-06-02

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