the-elm's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2-0-3-0 all i ever wanted was this.. it's all i had ever dreamed of. going away from here to somewhere far away. far away from all these people. i thought i'd be able to leave behind all this excess baggage i've been carrying for so long. start a-fresh.. like none of it ever happened to me.. like it would seem like a bad dream and i would forget. and i wouldn't be me anymore. i'd become the person i'd always dreamt of. i'd run away and never look back. but not anymore. i suppose there's nowhere you can run to hide from yourself.. and you can dream, but that only sets you up for disappointment and there's no point in dreaming afterall. how foolish am i? hahah. yeah.. i thought i was destined for better.. and that i could do this. but i guess i can't. and i guess i'm only getting what i deserve. i guess i shouldn't waste my time hoping and dreaming and wanting things that i'll never ever get. when i thought i had 2100 i was screaming, i was about to cry. i felt so happy. like i had actually done something right for the first time in my life. like there was someone out there who actually cared about me, and that i was stupid to think that God was sadistic and uncaring. but i was wrong. it's funny how i'm always wrong. maybe i'm right this time. i was born for domestica. i was born only to live like i'm dead inside. i tried to fight it. tried to be something more than what everyone told me to be. but now i know that there's no point. how can you fight that which you are destined for? you can't. so this is it. this is, in effect, the end. 5:36 p.m. - 2006-05-31 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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