the-elm's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- :S asshole. i detest you. much more so than one would detest getting the plague, or dying a slow, painful death being devoured alive by ants, or having each hair plucked out of one's head carefully and systematically. well, whatever. point is, i hate you and you suck and i wish you were dead. i wish i could change my point of view. actually, i wish i could change who i was. you know, trade bodies with someone else and forget to ever trade back.. anyone would do. heck, i wouldn't even mind being one of those stupid aliens from 'Mars Attacks', but they were cool. Hot too, if you dig the whole just-one-big-brain-and-eyeballs look. I need a catalyst, to rekindle the flame my literature teacher was telling us the colour red signified self-assertion, passion, love. but how can it be when red signifies nothing but failure, defeat, helplessness, sorrow, repentance. red is the colour of sin coursing through our veins.. red is the colour of life that we are all cursed with. red is the colour of hatred. red is mine. somehow i like toying with the idea of going mad. is it just me? i mean, come on, you have to admit, it is a rather romantic notion. that would be nice, yes. then i wouldn't have to care about anything anymore.. or how about the idea of being terminally ill? that sounds nice too. of course, i don't think either of the two will happen to me (a sort of vengeance from God for me trying to take fate into my own hands.. quite ironic, actually). once, when i was a child, my teacher had told me that every night before sleeping i should pray to God to wake up next morning, because i never knew whether or not i would wake up the next day or not. so, the following night i started praying that i would never wake up again.. it didn't work though. ha ha God, very funny. but really, knock it off already (please). well.. i suppose it will happen when the time is right, eh? hope it's soon. YEE-HAW! 6:51 p.m. - 2006-05-18 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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