the-elm's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- weird random shit You think that's where it's at but is that where it's supposed to be? i love Aerosmith's Jaded. You're so Jaded i feel weird. i've been feeling weird since two nights ago. you know, when something hits you so hard that you just can't deal.. yeah, so i was told something that hit me where it hurts. and although i'll never tell you if i'm angry at you, because you made it quite clear that i have no right to be so anymore since those days.. even though you might say something else now.. but i suppose it's alright. sure, it requires a bit of distance, some forced impersonality and indifference. but it's what you asked for and now you're getting it. i hate talking about stuff that bothers me. why don't you get it? if i wanted to discuss it, i would. and what's worse is you won't let it go till it's out, because you're stupid and you care so much like that. and i'd be perfectly alright changing the topic and pretending like nothing ever happened but we all saw where that lead the last time. wasn't a good time, heh. not at all.. but still, sometimes i'll put something right in front of you, but you can't see it. i guess you'll never understand my perspective and me.. we are so very different.. so very, very opposite. when will i learn? maybe never.. or maybe just the hard way. life has a way of turning things around and making them bite you hard in the ass. i suppose i had the last bad patch coming and i sure as hell know there will be more, but wouldn't it all be just so much easier if we always pretended like stuff never happened. of course, i wouldn't have a problem since i do suffer from an incredibly short-term memory (no joke). you remember the littlest of things.. like you hold on to them to throw them at me.. and you do that well. kudos to you man. sometimes i think everyone was right in telling me that this is too soon, that i'm too young and that stuff like should wait till later on in life. i don't know.. i thought them wrong and we may promise each other that we will prove them wrong, but in the end, it's only words. like those three that we repeat endlessly to each other... just words..... and words are so fake. so easily manipulated to suit your purpose.. sometimes it's so hard to believe.. you're right when you tell me how you think i have little faith in you. but you're wrong to think that you're the only one. there are few in this world whom i trust fully. and usually, the few that i do trust show me how foolish i have been to trust them too.. it's never really worth it.. nothing ever is. 9:03 p.m. - 2006-05-11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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